SCP-078-J - Cooties
Although the properties of SCP-078-J are not fully understood, it is well known for causing various cases of yuckiness, bad smells, and immediate death.
SCP-5040-J - Stripèd Gangs
"Major Mime-11 has been lost, and with him nearly the entire North American supply of white gloves and black berets."
SCP-2558-J - Pufferkittens
Several varieties have been observed, including long-haired, hypoallergenic, grenade (see Addendum), and bouncy.
SCP-3333-J - Angsty Teenage Plant
SCP-3333-J apparently grows better when listening to songs by My Chemical Romance. It is allowed to do so as long as the volume is set to a reasonable level.
SCP-123-J - Amazing Butter-like Substance!
When informed that the substance is not organic butter, subjects typically report disbelief.
SCP-106-J - The Barbecue Man
SCP-106-J is capable of vanishing into stoves or ovens, entering what seems to be a kind of “cookout dimension”.
SCP-19316-J - Improper Terminology
Evelyn's pork chops are to be kept in a sealed plastic container in the 5th Floor Break Room's refrigerator.
SCP-9119-J - Horrid Little Gustav
SCP-9119-J is to be lockey-locked away in a standard Bad Little Hideous Person Cage for all of eternity.
SCP-543-J - Tweedle Beetles
In the event of an XK-Tweetle-Beetle-Battle-Breaching-Bottle Situation, MTF Epsilon-11 ("Nine-Tailed Fox in Socks") will be deployed to recontain all specimens…
SCP-K9-J-EX - The Haunted House
Further investigation would be performed into SCP-K9-J-1's properties, but it's a GH-GH-GHOOOOOOST!
SCP-1992 - Hype Train
It is theorized SCP-1992-J-1 will only preemptively manifest to represent media that are met with a largely negative reaction upon release.
SCP-50-AE-J - The Deagle
Investigations into the further properties of SCP-50-AE-1 have been stymied by the fact that SCP-50-AE-1 continues to attack Foundation scientists, calling them "PINKO F*CKS".
SCP-007-J - Unidentified Muffin Creature
Whilst unobserved by Officer Blake, SCP-007-J… disappeared by unknown means, leaving only a residue of unknown properties on Officer Blake's lips.
Let Me Cure Her, Daddy [SCP-049-J]
Beneath the rays of the last functional ceiling light stood a hideous thing that could only be described as a bird-faced ragdoll, gripping a sharp stick.
Boiled, Scrambled, and Fried [SCP-049-J]
There was nothing noticeably off about the plague doctor except for the strange stomach pains.
SCP-063-J - Non-Euclidean Geometries
Attempts to characterise the shape of SCP-063-J while empty… are ongoing but have been described as "frustrating" and "pointless".
SCP-OO1-J - KEEP CALM AND APOLLYON
This site has been destroyed by SCP-OO1-J, ergo, I can enjoy Petula Clark as much as I damn well please and only corpses will judge me.